Did you and your partner just have a fight? Are you looking out for tried and tested ways to patch up with him/her? If yes, then this is the right place for you.
Here’s a healthy way to get your relationship back on track after the worst fight with your partner.
1. Look beneath the argument to identify the root feeling:
They say, “You’re never fighting for the reason you think.” To you, it may look like you’re fighting about something, but that’s usually due to some communication, which you hadn’t realized. Inadequacies, fear of abandonment, feeling taken for granted, are some such common feelings that many ignite fights for no reason.
Just sit down calmly and identify the root feeling which can help in patching up with your partner.
2. Sit down, talk it out and communicate what is most true in one sentence:
Make sure the issue is settled before you move on.
Communicating to your partner your feelings like, “I feel scared when I see you talking to another girl” will help you to get to the core issue and even help her or him to understand your feelings and emotions without arguing about it.
3. Take responsibility; if you are wrong, admit it:
There are certain things we do to a certain degree or another. For example, snapping at your partner or trying to control the outcome of the fight. If you can find a method to own up to your part in the argument, without trying to blame or wrong play yourself or your partner for it, it will help you open up a totally new dialogue.
If you realize you were wrong, just admit it. Admitting when you are wrong will not just help in building respect but will also assist in easing out tension.
Remember: don’t say sorry for things you didn’t do just to end the fight. Be sincere.
4. Let go of being right:
Wanting to win an argument is a no-win situation and keeps you away from actually connecting with your partner.
There is an old saying, “Would you rather be right, or be happy?” Ask this simple question that can help you change and save your relationship.
5. Be mature, even if your partner isn’t:
If you think you are the more mature one, do not let your partner’s lack of maturity bring you down. Instead, let your maturity help bring your partner up.
6. Let your partner learn in her/ his own way:
The only things you can control are yourself and your pace of learning.
If your partner is failing to understand, you cannot force her/ him to see the issue your way or from your point of view. In case you are holding out for a sorry, and your partner isn’t giving it, consider forgiving her/ him anyway. This kind of acceptance might show that you accept your partner’s imperfections. This, in turn, can help her/ him be less defensive.
For example: “I know you didn’t mean to hurt my feelings and emotions by not remembering our anniversary. I do still feel hurt, but I am willing to trust that you didn’t do it on purpose, and you will try to remember next time. OK?”
We are expecting all of you who have landed into fights to make up and live a nice, healthy and beautiful life.
Let us know how have you and your partner bounced back after a big fight?
Till then, spread some love and cheer!